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S'ing his D for 10 minutes before letting him get it in and bring me to climax isn't fair. Also, we as women expect a lot from a dude to make us feel beautiful and sexy and irresistible. That area is sensitive for them and gives a lot of pleasure. It's hard for men to admit that since it's taboo and immediately associated with homosexuality.
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Try an keep an open mind - if he told you, he trusts and loves you. He's not bi/gay as there is no desire to be with a man intimately. My boyfriend is a manly man and not feminine at all. My instinct was to run far and fast, but he's someone I love, so I agreed to indulge this request, expecting it to be the worst night ever and that if have to struggle not to be visibly grossed out, but surprisingly it was an exhilarating experience. My boyfriend recently confessed to me that he has a dildo he uses on himself AND that he wanted to explore cross dressing to feel sexy and desired. Also, most gays have a certain distinguished type of face. So in my opinion, your boyfriend is not gay or bi as long as he doesn't get it on with guys. I don't get hard when I see a guy naked in the change room but I sure do when a girl takes her clothes off. I enjoy dildos, even a girl with a strap on, but I do not enjoy her acting like a man, looking like a man or being a man.
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When you passionately make out and have sex with a person of the same gender, that's when you are gay or bi. Pleasuring yourself in the same way some gays do or same way some girls do does not make you gay. In my opinion, you are straight as long as you are not romantically attracted to the same sex. Because it feels good for both guys and girls, and when homophobia is erased from the picture, pleasure no longer has a straight and gay form.
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If you did an experiment where you raised a gender neutral group of boys and girls where they were never thought about being gay and then at a certain age you showed each of them in private a video about none penile looking dildos that can stimulate your anus, to both genders and provided them with the toys to try if they wish, I bet the same amount of guys and girls would try them. Basically guys are not open to certain pleasures because they are homophobic. They couldn't live with the shame, they would be made fun of forever and a lot of guy friends would drop them. Most guys don't do it because they would be extremely eberassed if their friends knew about it. So why do I use a dildo? The same reason why some lesbians use a strap on or a dildo, the same reason some girls like anal, the same reason some girls are ok with playing with other girl's boobs or on occasion being licked by them. The idea of dating or being with a guy simply disgusts me, I really love feminine, elegant women. Now that I'm in my 30's and have had enough time to figure myself out, I can tell you that I have never been with a guy. In my case, I also like to use a dildo on myself and also to suck on one, not after it's been in my ass of course, that's dirty and gross. I am a male and have been in a similar situation where my girlfriend at the time wasn't comfortable with my sexual interests and I bet she was asking herself the same question. I don't know how long ago you posted this so I don't know if my answer is still relevant but here is my experience: